In Days of Great Peace by Mouni Sadhu

Author:Mouni Sadhu
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780429398841
Publisher: Taylor & Francis (CAM)
Published: 2018-10-23T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER XXVII

Stray Leaves

The following pages reflect different moods and states of mind experienced by me during my stay in the Ashram. Reading them now, through the perspective of almost one year, I see the changes which were, and still are taking place in the being called ‘me’. I have put these fragments together into one chapter, as they are mostly short and of a fleeting, sporadic character.

My whole attitude towards the world and human beings changed greatly, as I have mentioned before, but these modifications took place spontaneously and almost unconsciously. I first noticed that my behaviour under certain conditions had formerly been quite different, and that now those very situations appeared to me in quite another light. The desire for synthesis had now become the dominant note of my moods; desire to attain such a state of consciousness as would enable me to see everything in its true light, with no personal colouring. I felt that such a level exists and I wanted to find it at any cost. I also knew that it would not be found in the realm of mental theories, for I had changed those many times during the long years of my search. This search for a synthesis would probably be painful and accompanied by an intense inner conflict if experienced anywhere other than in the Ashram; the presence of the Saint puts an end to all intellectual stunts. Here one’s roots simply grow into truth.

Religious prejudices and occult theories likewise dropped away of themselves. The field of vision around the Self cleared up. Even quite recently, from old habits, when I turned my thoughts to the Christ I excluded Siva. In my meditation on the ‘Self’ there was no place for Buddha. After that came a period when the figure of Maharshi replaced all that could be known by the critical mind. This state lasted several weeks and it was a time of carefree peace. It was probably a necessary preparation for more abstract and subtle experiences.

After this period was over, I noticed that many mental barriers and hindrances were dissolved in a new state where no contradiction existed. It was during this time that I paid my visits to the tomb of the Mohammedan Saint at the foot of Arunachala hill and learned that there, as well as here, one finds the same possibilities and assistance in escaping from the bondage of one’s annoying personality.

The hue of the first mood which is an introduction, as it were, to further experiences, may be somewhat different, but as soon as the chain of thoughts is broken, the identity is felt. That is why Maharshi repeats that all paths, if properly understood, lead to the same goal.

What can be brought back from the land of silence to be expressed in words? How can one possibly convey all the modifications which take place in the moods of the experiencer? For instance, one suddenly feels a certainty of the unity of all existence and in that light the fear of death appears to be absurd.

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